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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
LET'S GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK.
I WANT A DESK AND A CHAIR AND A BED.
I ALREADY TOLD YOU YOU CAN DO THIS,
AND I DON'T WANT TO GO WITH ANYONE ELSE.
WE SLEPT WITH THE ZUCCHINI.
WELL...
I HAD A FRIEND -- LET'S CALL HIM PHILLIP --
[ SIGHS DEEPLY ]
YOU WANT IT? YOU CAN HAVE IT.
YOU SAID IT AND WALKED AWAY?
I MEAN, YOU READ ALL THESE AWFUL STORIES IN THE PAPER --
BEST BACHELOR PARTY EVER!
SOME OF YOU MAY EVEN HAVE BEEN INCAPABLE OF SAYING IT AT ALL.
OKAY, YOU ARE DROPPING TWO DESSERTS OFF THE MENU.
THANK YOU.
EXCUSE ME, BUT I'M NOT SURE WHICH FLOOR TO GO TO.
IT'S STILL POSSIBLE I'M GONNA HAVE A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP.
[ CHUCKLES ]
I HAVE VERY LITTLE IN MY LIFE.
THE CAT. I THINK HE FLIPPED ME OFF WITH HIS TAIL.
WE'VE GOT TO SERVE THE SOUP. PEOPLE ARE EXPECTING IT.
HEY, THERE.
YOU SELL PORN? NO!
BECAUSE OF THE RATE OF POPULATION INCREASE?
[ GASPS ]
WHAT'S WITH YOU?
THAT IS PROFESSOR ASHER FLEMING OF YALE UNIVERSITY.
NO, I HAVEN'T.
BUT AT THE END OF THE CALL, I DO BELIEVE I HEARD A KNOCK
ISN'T POLITICAL WRITING JUST ANOTHER FORM OF PROPAGANDA?
THIS MAN IS AN AWARD-WINNING NOVELIST,
100 BUCKS? THAT'S WAY TOO MUCH.
HOW MANY TAPES ARE WE WATCHING TONIGHT?
GOT A SOLUTION FOR YOU.
TO TRIUMPH ABOVE YOUTHFUL OMNISCIENCE,
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. SO, WHAT HAPPENED?
[ GROANS ]
IT'S COLD.
YOU DROPPED THE BOMB AND RAN?
HAVE I SAID THANK YOU TO YOU RECENTLY?
SHE HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE GRASPING THAT CONCEPT.
DO YOU SEE HER FACE?
OH, I'M GONNA BE A LITTLE FRUITY.
YOU'RE TIRED, STRESSED OUT, AND NOT SEEING THINGS CLEARLY.
[ CLICK ]
AND YOU SHOULDN'T GO TO HER WEDDING.
TRY AGAIN.
WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THIS JUNK?
SO DO I.
WELL, WE'RE GONNA HAVE THE CEREMONY
I HAD THIS FRIEND -- LET'S CALL HIM PHILLIP --
I STOP DRINKING COFFEE, I STOP DOING THE STANDING
ISN'T KANSAS LOUSY WITH WHEAT?
SO, WE DO NOTHING?
I'D SAY SO.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
UNLESS THEY STOCK THEM AT HOME DEPOT,
I WASN'T SURE HE WAS COMING. I WENT TO SEE HIM IN NEW YORK.
ARE YOU FEELING BETTER?
PARIS?
* IF YOU NEED
IT'S NOT FAIR. WE JUST BROKE UP.
YOU'RE ABOUT TO SELL HIS SPLEEN TO UCLA.
I GUESS.
HEY, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE ONION SOUP I MADE TODAY?
I CAME HERE BECAUSE OF YOU.
OH, YOU KNOW, THE ZUCCHINI PATCH.
I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT IT, THAT'S ALL.
DID HE TAKE IT WELL?
WHY DON'T I JUST WAIT TILL THE PLACE IS REPOSSESSED?
HE DROPPED HIS SPOON, AND WHEN I PICKED IT UP,
TONIGHT'S BEEN SORT OF AN EYE-OPENER.
OH, JESS, COME ON. YOU DID THIS COMPLETELY WRONG.
HE'S YOUNG, HE'S BUSY.
OH, I'M HAVING A GAY OLD TIME.
A FRIEND OF MINE IS HERE,
JEEZ, MAN.
I HAVEN'T BEEN IN A FIGHT SINCE SIXTH GRADE.
YOU'RE NOT DESTINED TO BE ALONE. YOU HAVE SHEL.