How the show's written Today

llife in endless loop

Do you have the express written consent of ABC Sports and the National Football League?

no it's because you're brainwashed! now go and think in the corner about a timeout! oh ok then i'm in the corner.

look alex all the stars are closer all the stars are closer this might be the night luke might let me know haley's not grounded anymore. gloria get an endless supply of zooboo for us. we're celebrating!

Do you have expressed written consent of ABC Sports and the National Football League?

Sorry. Vanessa whispers in Penelope's ear.

I'm allergic to cats myself. In the middle of her sneezing fit, Claire waves the smoke that's coming towards her.

The Star Wars Oh No, In Star Wars Wars

Let me say goodnight. Okay. Will you tell me you're sorry when you get up in the morning?

Donald Trump didn't know about the Russian bounties because it was WRITTEN in his DPB...

You ain't doing nothing this weekend when you go to Nan's and Pop's. And Luke, I'm telling you, there's no way in hell, you're going to Disneyland! No way... in... hell! I'd rather by kicked in the balls by a buffalo, then take your ass to Disneyland!

You get in your car, turn the radio on, and then you hear Sheryl Crow singing "It's Almost Christmas" with Alex and those twelve and thirteen year olds. I think she wrote the song. I just think the radio people know we are in the car so we can turn on Sheryl Crow.

In the school auditorium, the Dunphy kids stand on stage getting ready to perform. Then Jennifer Hudson shows up and stands between Luke and Alex.

well i'll just push in with two toilet papers. go ahead.

feel the rain on your skin no one else can feel it for you only you can let it in today is where your book begins the rest is still unwritten. open up a dirty window, illuminate the words that you cannot find reach you something in the distance so close you can almost taste it release your inhibitions.

Although, the last two papers I've written were widely discredited

gloria remember that episode where haley met luke? yes, and i also remember a storm hit and we got snowed in at the mall.

I don’t know I mean, it’s well written and all

Then, the Giants game changes to an old home movie of Marcia 13, Jan 11, and Cindy 8, watching Mister Rogers Neighborhood with Carol in the morning. Cam comments on Mike and the TV. What the hell is Mike still asleep for? And what the hell are the girls watching?